The Ins and Outs of Self–Care for Moms: A Guide to Nurturing Your Wellbeing
As a busy mom, you're undoubtedly familiar with the whirlwind of responsibilities, emotions, and challenges that come with the territory. From managing hectic schedules to soothing crying babies, the daily grind can sometimes leave you feeling overwhelmed and depleted. It's no wonder that amidst the chaos, taking care of your own well-being often takes a backseat. Sometimes you can’t even get a moment alone to use the bathroom without your child knocking and yelling for you at the door. There just are not enough hours in the day, and there is always something occupying your mind.
You may be asking yourself, “How can I possibly find time for ‘self-care’, when I can’t even use the bathroom in peace?”
While part of you might want to lock your door and hide from all the “things,” the other part of you knows you won’t be able to move forward unless you make a change.
But here's the silver lining: you have the power to make a positive change. You can take small, intentional steps to nurture your well-being and cultivate a greater sense of balance and peace in your life.
In this blog post, I'll delve into the concept of self-care and share three practical strategies that busy moms like yourself can implement to prioritize their mental and emotional health. From simple breathing techniques to effective time-management strategies, these tips will empower you to reduce anxiety and reclaim some much-needed control in your life. So, let's dive in and explore how you can embark on a journey of self-care and self-discovery!
But first, let’s debunk a common myth about Self-Care.
Before we dive into the depths of self-care, it’s important to dispel a common misconception that often clouds the understanding of it. Maybe you’ve heard that self-care is selfish, and this misunderstanding can lead to feelings of guilt or inadequacy.
Contrary to popular belief, is not about indulgence or putting your needs above others at the expense of their well-being. Instead, it's about recognizing your own worth and acknowledging that taking care of yourself is essential for your ability to care for others effectively.
You don’t have to spend tons of money on trips to the nail salon or be a supermom who can do it all without breaking a sweat to prioritize self-care. In fact, by nurturing your own mental and emotional health, you're better equipped to show up fully for your loved ones and tackle the demands of motherhood with grace and resilience.
Let’s dive into some practical strategies that will help you integrate self-care into your busy schedule and cultivate a greater sense of balance and well-being.
Boundaries
What are boundaries? Most of us, especially women and moms, have pretty poor boundaries. We feel like we can’t say no, and we end up signing ourselves up for so many things that we become overwhelmed and feel undervalued. Having boundaries involves defining limits on your time, energy, and resources to ensure that you're not overextending yourself. You don’t have to participate in all the PTO meetings or bring the most baked goods for the school fundraiser in order to be an amazing parent. It’s okay to set a boundary for yourself by prioritizing the things that are MOST important and letting go of the others that are not.
Setting boundaries is a vital resource for moms experiencing anxiety and burnout because it allows you to give yourself grace and be more present in your children’s lives in other important ways.
Many people who are new to establishing boundaries struggle with maintaining them. It can be difficult to implement this kind of change, especially when you are the one that people usually turn to because they know you always say yes. One effective way to set boundaries is by learning to say no without guilt. Practice politely declining commitments or requests that don't align with your priorities or values. Remember, saying no to others often means saying yes to yourself and your well-being.
Additionally, consider establishing physical boundaries to protect your personal space and time. This might mean carving out designated "me time" where interruptions are off-limits or creating a quiet corner in your home where you can retreat and recharge.
Furthermore, communication is key when it comes to setting boundaries with others. Clearly communicate your needs and limitations to family members, friends, and colleagues, and don't be afraid to assertively advocate for yourself.
By setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, you empower yourself to preserve your energy and focus on what truly matters, ultimately reducing stress and enhancing your overall well-being as a mom.
Rather than get discouraged by all the different ways establishing boundaries can be implemented in your life, the key to establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is to assess and prioritize what one area you think you need better boundaries in.
To get started, just start with one goal in one specific area you are going to establish a boundary in, and then validate yourself in that decision and don’t look back.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness meditation is a transformative practice for busy moms seeking to reduce anxiety and cultivate inner peace. This technique involves focusing your attention on the present moment without judgment, allowing you to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions.
Mindfulness meditation is a powerful resource for moms experiencing the relentless demands of daily life, as it offers a sanctuary of calm amidst the chaos. Many moms who are new to mindfulness struggle with quieting their minds and staying present, especially when faced with overwhelming thoughts or distractions. To begin, I would like you to just focus on the concept of “being present.”
The beautiful thing about being present, is that it doesn't take time out of your day. In fact, it helps you to feel more connected to your day. Being present means living your life moment by moment, keeping your mind and focus on the task you are doing, as you are doing it. I know this can be way easier said than done, but once you start practicing present mindedness, you may experience a decrease in your anxiety as you your mind is not ruminating or anticipating all the tasks ahead of you. This is also so important as a mom because our kids grow up so fast—the days go slow, but the years go fast. All your kids want from you is to be there with them, truly with them. So put your phone down and practice being fully present minded with your child and get fully engrossed in their world with them. You’ll be glad you did. This leads us to the next concept.
Finding Your Flow Activity
A Flow Activity is a concept also rooted in mindfulness that may just be the key you've been searching for if you have yet to find your perfect self-care technique.
This approach can be the missing piece of the puzzle, especially if you've found yourself caught in the cycle of living day to day in survival mode without actually enjoying your life. Flow is when you are engaged in an activity to the extent that you lose track of time and your sense of separateness—meaning you become one with the activity.
To implement flow effectively, start by experimenting with different activities you enjoy. In order to actually find flow, there needs to be an optimal match between your skill level and the challenge of the activity. Sometimes you must go through a learning curve in order to achieve the skill level to reach flow, and that’s okay! Examples of activities that may induce flow include running, a game, crafts, art, reading, playing a musical instrument, or even playing a sport.
By consistently incorporating a flow activity into your week you can alleviate your anxiety as it essentially engages you in an antianxiety state, transforming the way you navigate stress.
I understand that part of the reason you are reading this is because you feel like you just don’t have any time to yourself. However, just like on the airplane when the flight attendant directs you to place your oxygen mask on before helping others in the case of an emergency, in order to be the best mom you can be, sometimes you need to take care of yourself first. It’s about finding balance. Give yourself permission to take 20 minutes after your child goes to sleep, or enlist the help of a sitter if needed, to engage in your flow activity. You will feel more relaxed and in control, and thus more present and energized for your children.
Your next steps to utilizing Self-Care
To bring it all together, these three components of self-care will help busy moms, like you, prioritize your mental and emotional health.
While it may seem overwhelming at first, by focusing on incorporating just one small step into your daily routine, such as practicing mindfulness or setting boundaries, you will be one step closer to reducing anxiety and reclaiming a greater sense of balance and joy in your life. Embrace the journey of self-care with patience and compassion, knowing that each small effort adds up to significant positive change and will help you to feel better about yourself as a woman and a mom.
Ready to explore this further in therapy?
Although these three strategies provide a great starting place, I recognize that implementing them can be difficult and overwhelming. Any time we implement change into our routine it can be a learning curve, and it can also be difficult to maintain that change in the face of our daily stressors. If you're feeling overwhelmed and ready to prioritize your well-being, you're not alone. The therapists and counselors at Hopeology PLLC are here to help you in this journey.
We support busy women and moms who are navigating anxiety and stress by helping them find balance, incorporate mindfulness, and gain a better sense of control in their life (while letting go of the things that they cannot control).
Let's take the first step toward reclaiming your peace and joy together! Schedule a free 15-minute consultation today!
